The last time I…

The last time I ignored the warnings from my dreams, I ended up spending the night in jail and leaving a black mark on my record that will follow me for the rest of my life.  Now I don’t believe in fortune-telling or premonitions, but I do believe in the subconscious mind’s ability to know things before the rest of us…  It’s like that uncomfortable chill down your back that makes you not walk down a dark alley.  It’s that second thought that reminds you to recount that cash you were just handed.

 

In my case it was that initially dismissed thought that the girlfriend is really no good for you.  She stares you in the eyes while speaking as earnestly as possible.  Obviously lying.  And if she is lying, she’s cheating.  And if she’s cheating, she is not far from stealing or worse…

 

In the dream we had just robbed a bank.  Our Maserati left the pursuing cop cars like they were standing still and brought us to a new city dive bar with twin backpacks chock full of crisp new bills.  Of course, this is completely unrealistic, but my dreams normally are.  

 

It seemed like we only stopped kissing between shot shots or to pound pints of beer.  It was more alcohol than anyone not dreaming could ever take and still be able to walk or see straight.   Or maybe I was completely wasted in this dream and just didn’t know it.  There had to be some explanation for me not noticing the guy next to us gradually edge his way next to us.  Ordinarily I would give a guy at least some credit for being smooth enough to take my girl without me noticing before it was too late. But this guy was the complete opposite of smooth.  The biggest gut I have ever seen on a guy so skinny lapped right over front of the tightest Wranglers known to man.  I turned my attention to a shot of gin for no more than a second.  When I looked back she was almost jogging leading him by the hand out of the bar.  She even gave his flat old man ass a slap while she put him in the passenger side of my Maserati…

 

 

 

It’s 4:17 when I wake up.  The first thing on my mind is that I have under 3 hours to sleep before I have to get to work.  The next thing on my mind is the undeniable fact that I had to loose this girlfriend snoring on the other side of the bed.  At the time, I didn’t have any real cause to complain or suspect but somehow I just knew that she was absolutely no good for me.  And no good could come if she remained.  

 

She had to go…


The Cobwebs…

So anyway, I have been back home from Iraq for around 90 days and done next to zero writing.  I guess the slacker element took hold of the dreamer in me.  There is that dreamer/worker duality in everyone with a goal.  On one side there is the worker that constantly does things that further the goal.  In my case, that is to be a published author.  And then there is the dreamer who constantly thinks about what it is like to published author.  And on occasion, the dream is enough to satisfy and the worker begins to fade.  It’s not a good state to be in…

 

So, ladies and gentlemen, this is the Soldier Artist doing what he can to clear out some of the cobwebs on his typing fingers and blogsite…

 

Any ideas on what I should write about next?  Perhaps I will do some poetry on the weather in Texas…


The Soldier Artist

Writing in Iraq is harder than facing fear.  Everything that comes to mind is little more than a depressing rant that you dare not put to paper lest you be accused of making “disloyal statements.”  I often find myself wishing for the days when Creativity was simply the effect brought on by a few shots and some time alone with your thoughts.  But those days hang both in the distant future and past; just out of reach and barely still in memory.

When the Soldier kills the Artist, the war never ends…


Are You a Bad Parent?

So anyway, I really don’t have any kids of my own but it doesn’t take the wisest paSo anyway, I really don’t have any kids of my own but it doesn’t take the wisest parent in the world to recognize the worst parents in the world. They make themselves known to all who see them but somehow I think they don’t know it themselves. To help these unfortunate people, I have compiled a list of qualities for people to look at and determine if they are a bad parent. If you fall under any of these, for the sake of your child (or children) seek help immediately! There is still hope for you. And just so you know, everything here comes from something I have seen in real life. While it may appear to be comedy, I am putting this up in all seriousness to ensure the future of the children…

1. If you accept the fact that your child “doesn’t drink water” then you are a bad parent.
2. If you know you are pregnant and you are in a club drinking and smoking as if there is no child in your belly, then you are a bad parent.
3. If your child is under 18 and you spend the night of their birthday in a nightclub, then you are a bad parent.
4. If it takes you ann hour and a half to find a picture of your child, then you are a bad parent (especially in the world of camera phones).
5. If you have ever hidden the existence of your child to facilitate your sex life, you are a bad parent.
6. If your child is wearing diapers to kindergarten, then you might be a bad parent.
7. If you have ever done your child’s homework for them because they have football practice, then you are a bad parent.
8. If your children have not eaten all day and you spend the last of your money on drugs or alcohol, then you are a bad parent.
9. If you have ever put your children to sleep with Nyquil so you can go to the club, you might be a bad parent.
10. If your children are over the age of 25, they still live with you and display no effort to move out, you are a bad parent.
Ten should be enough. Do not be mad at me if any of these are you. You should get angry at yourself…

1.


The Bird Nest

I was smoking a cigarette outside my unit’s command center on a hot morning in Iraq.  My eyes normally follow the smoke upward.  But this time they were attracted away from the smoke to a bird nest that had been built right onto some wood planks that extended horizontally from the roof.  Bird nests are a huge eyesore to the cleanliness and efficiency represented by the military.  It had to come down.  But just when I got close enough to scatter the twigs with my weapon, I notice something—an egg.  The nest had been there long enough for the mother bird to accomplish enough of her own mission to keep me from beginning mine.  I couldn’t do it.  I am no pacifist by any means but I just couldn’t bring myself to destroy the nest or the egg it held.  So, I walked away and put the nest out of my mind completely.  The next afternoon, I was smoking in the same place and noticed the nest was gone.  The smashed pieces of eggshell still lay in the sand right next to my boots.  Another Soldier had accomplished the task.   I was only left there rethinking what meaning I, as an individual Soldier, ever had on the battlefield of Iraq and the battlefield of life…


On Niggaz…

With all of the interacting and people-watching I do, I find myself becoming more and more infuriated at those who refer to themselves (and me for that matter) as their “nigga.” They assume my anger at the use of word stems from racism and fall back on the fact that they are using the non-racist version of the word ending in “–a” as opposed to the racist term ending in “-er.” This is hardly the case. My anger at the use of the word “nigger” is obviously for its racist implications. My anger at the use of the word “nigga” and its Ebonicly-spelled plural form “niggaz” is from people’s ignorance of the true meaning of the term “Nigga.” Let me break it down for you:

A nigga is an ignorant and lazy person completely incapable of self-sufficiency. A nigga can be of any race. It has nothing to do with the color or ancestry of the person; just their character and actions. For many of us, it becomes difficult to identify niggaz. Fortunately, I have broken it down even simpler in the numbered paragraphs below.

1. Niggaz maintain an undisciplined diet. They do not see the importance of vegetables. They tend to over-indulge in quantity and they NEVER drink water. In their mind, water is only what you drink when soda is unavailable.

2. Niggaz require instant gratification. They believe that nothing is worth working hard for over time. In every instance they will take what is just OK right now rather than what is great later.

3. Niggaz do not read. Niggaz do not write. It’s not that niggaz CANNOT read or write. It is that they choose not to due to pure laziness. No nigga I have ever met can remember the last time they ever read anything.

4. Niggaz complain about what is and wish about how it should be. They make zero effort to change anything. They just talk, daydream and expect the world to change for them. Again, this is pure laziness.

5. Niggaz see no need for self-improvement. They have no desire for continue d education or advancement at their jobs. They are content with how things are because any improvement would require effort on their part.

6. Niggaz have never been anywhere. Niggaz have no curiosity about what lies outside of their known home. They make zero effort to travel or see another place because this is outside of their comfort zones.

7. Niggaz cannot handle money. They might have a checking account that is constantly overdrawn or credit cards with massive balances (that they still use). They live paycheck to paycheck no matter how much money they make. If you give a nigga a million dollars, they will be bankrupt (or at least broke) within a year.

8. Niggaz just don’t care. They don’t care about politics, they don’t care about their personal economy, and they don’t even really care about their families for friends. All niggaz care about is themselves…


The Purpose of Evil

True evil does have a purpose. And that purpose is completely for the self. While some self-interest is required for survival, we all must draw the line when it comes to how much we take from others as a result.

Perfect definition: attainment of goods or services with no respect/consideration for others is evil.

Attainment of goods without respect to others=theft

Attainment of services without respect to others=slavery

So in order to avoid being evil, we must carefully walk the line between self preservation and complete narcissism.  What a concept!  And done so few words.  This is what I call a black eye to every college professor who ever demanded a length requirement to explain a concept…


Warning: Indictment of Organized Religion…

Alright, let me say first that I have no problem with religion as a whole. Most of the time, religion serves as a guide to ethics and brings families together to celebrate their culture and their history. What I do have a problem with are the aspects of organized religion that inhibit our lawful actions, suppress our personalities, divide us and impede our progression as a species. No deity that claims to have our best interests in mind would ever tell us not to think for ourselves or threaten us with an eternal afterlife of torture as punishment for something that did not cause harm to others. I am not against any specific religion or those who practice it. All religion is not bad. To further clarify my personal beliefs, I have thought about and written the following points. Take them as you will or do not take them at all. My only wish is to express my thoughts:

1. No religion should condone openly doing harm to someone whose only crime is against a deity. The death penalty for convicted murders is justice. Laws that protect the people and promote safety are logical. Converting people through violence and referring to anyone’s harmless lifestyle as immoral simply reflects your unhealthy need to be right.

2. No religion has any right to the money of its members. A person making donations of their own free will is understandable. Saying that a deity requires a monetary contribution from its followers in order to avoid committing a sin just sounds like fraud. Ask yourself why an immortal, all-powerful deity needs money. They don’t.

3. No religion should inhibit the thought of the people. Many religions instruct people not to ask questions that provoke any thought or doubt in their practices. Any religion that tells you not to use your brain (which was given to you by a Creator) is only trying to control you while using a minimal amount of effort. And control over you is so much easier when you don’t think. Think about it…

To tell the truth, I thought I would have more than 3 points but the logic I have written here is simple enough to be easy to grasp in less than 500 words. It makes me wonder why such a large portion of the world has so much trouble with the concept…


Sex Is No Big Deal

My love life is hardly one that will be studied for correctness in the ages to come. While I have done many things right, I have also done many things wrong. In short, I am not perfect. But in my imperfection my mistakes have taught me an insane amount about how people think, act and love. I don’t know everything but I do know a few things that I am sure of. Just one of these (and this may come as a shock to the masses) is that sex is no big deal. Yes, I said it. Sex is no big deal. Now do not confuse me for being asexual. I love sex as much as any guy who’s ever spoken to a woman he is interested in (perhaps even more so). The importance of sex is obvious. It’s presence in a relationship between individuals mature in years and maturity signals a healthy bond. However, many people seem to think that sex is a huge thing that complicates and endangers relationships in their early stages. This is the myth I seek to blast.

The more conservative part of the population with help from organized religion are the main spreaders of this myth. So many of us really do think that sex must wait for marriage or at least a committed exclusive relationship because doing it any other condition is considered rash, slutty or even ungodly. Under the guidance of these physically conservative types, people have negative ideas about something they have never experienced. It spreads disease, causes unwanted pregnancy and the pursuit of it clouds of the mind and prevents logical thought on things like jobs, money and God. And on the other side of the spectrum, they think too highly of sex where now it’s just too sacred to do at just any time with anyone and should be saved for your future spouse (whether they exist or not). Just over a decade ago, I used to be one of those virgins who put sex on that pedestal. I was determined to save myself for my first love. I succeeded in waiting, but the relationship ended as the majority of them do. And I was instantly left with thoughts of the long line of women I had saved myself FROM. They were really not that different from my first and the experience might not have been that different. But I will never know this now.

Being programmed to wait has its merit in some areas. It does its part to prevent those too young (mentally) from getting in over their heads. But this is overkill. It makes an enemy of sex when the true enemy is a combination of ignorance and immaturity. We require the knowledge of the pros and cons to any sexual decision and the maturity to properly act on those pros and cons. Instead of holding people (at large) accountable for their ignorant and immature actions, many simply blame sex. That is as bad as blaming the automobile for traffic accidents when all you really have to do is drive carefully…


The Truth About the Body..

So I am just surfing the net like normal.  I check my Facebook and email all while being bombarded with so much spam claiming to be the key to weight loss and that perfect body you’ve always wanted.  And honestly, I do not blame people for the wish or for claiming to be the one to be able to grant it.  Being fit is an amazing thing for your health, confidence and even your wardrobe.  Clothing is even designed to fit a nice figure.  What I do blame people for is the second part of the wish.  The first part is always something along the lines of “Loses weight” and the second part is the untrue fantasy.  “…without Exercise or Dieting.”  YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!

Listen up, America.  I am about to burst a bubble that desperately must be popped.  A toned, fit and trim body is a result of the conscious decision made by its owner.  That’s right; a conscious decision.  That girl with the slim waist was not born that way and neither was that guy with the toned muscles.  Anything that maintains the fitness of your body is going to require you to devote time, attention and (especially) effort.  Below are some of the truths that everyone should know about getting fit.  Keep in mind that many people are trying to make money off your desire for these to be untrue.  And by telling you the truth, I am doing you a favor.  It’s even free.  If you feel insulted by anything here, you just might need to take a good look at yourself.

There is no magic pill that dissolves fat from your stomach and thighs.  Sorry.  While some caffeine and thermogenic products claim to raise your metabolism, all they really do is heat you up and cause your heart to beat faster.  If you keep your old habits, you will keep your old body no matter how many brightly-colored pills you pop.  If you want to drop fat, you have to do cardio and have discipline in your diet.  It’s just the truth.

EVERY workout that delivers any real results will be difficult.  It doesn’t matter how easy it looks for the models doing it on the infomercial.  In fact, if it is easy, then it does nothing for you.  A good workout has to be strenuous and intense enough to push your limits so that you can raise your limits.  As they say in the Army, “It’s SUPPOSED to hurt.”  I get so tired of seeing people reading while on exercise bikes or walking at a treadmill’s lowest setting.  These people see little (if any) results and then complain that the exercise is not working for them.  Here’s a tip:  Turn up the speed on the machine and do some actual training.  Otherwise, you’re wasting your time.

Here’s another one:  No one is born with a perfect body.  While genetics can give a helping hand in either direction, your DNA does not directly dictate your appearance unless you allow it.  People who are in extremely great shape are so only because they work very hard on it.  The true trim and fit people are not (just) in the gym to show off.  They realize that they must maintain.  Some are even trying to improve.   Not even the body of the fit celebrity is governed by the double-helix.  They work out too.  Vin Diesel and Megan Fox would look a lot different if they stopped exercising and started eating badly.  But I doubt they will test that theory.

Some people think that fit people are simply not eating.  Newsflash! Thin people are not starving themselves.  They are just eating right.  Some people may confuse having a decent diet for starving yourself because a bacon double cheeseburger with fries taste great and gives you that full/sleepy feeling many people THINK is the reason for eating.  Guess what: that full/sleepy feeling is your body using energy to digest food rather than to keep you active.  You could be working out with that energy.  A Caesar Salad with bits of chicken or a baked fish fillet over rice and steamed vegetables never put anyone to sleep.  And no one ever starved by eating either of them.  Skipping meals altogether or replacing them with fad shakes is starving yourself.  Basing your meals on a full selection of vegetables, lean cuts of meat and limiting your starch intake is called dieting.  Look it up.  Speaking of diets, these fad diets are also complete fallacy fueled by wishful thinking.  Calorie Counting?  No one really has time to turn their meal into math class.  In my opinion this adds unwanted stress which can only compound the problem.  I have no intention of taking my calculator to the kitchen at dinner time.  Atkins? Honestly, how anyone can say you can live completely on meat and lose weight is beyond me.  And how anyone actually went for it is even further beyond me.

Yes, I got off on a little rant here, but it’s time that someone told the truth instead of offering a fantasy in exchange for money.  Diet and exercise are the only things that really create a great body.  It’s no secret; just a fact that very few people are willing to admit to themselves.  The needle on the scale will not go down unless you do things to make yourself lose weight.  Six-pack abs are not a gift given at random via God’s genetic dice.  A small waste on a woman is not a sign that she is just not enjoying any meals.  Both of them are the product of a balanced diet and an intense workout.  That’s it.  There is no simple and easy magic trick to getting fit with no sweating while surviving on steak and potatoes.  It just does not exist.


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